I'm going to make my last post nice and gushy.
Mothers day is coming up soon! So this last post is on my mother.
My mother is amazing. She has been through so many struggles all on her own and persevered and succeeded in life. She came to this country as a teenager and had to support herself on her own, no parental support. Still, she recognized the importance that being educated has on your life so she began to work and go to night school to the same time. Thinking of this inspires me to continue my college career seeing as she worked so hard for her own and she worked so hard to ultimately help me with college so I wouldn't have to do what she did when she was starting college. When I was the age of 7 she became a single mom and despite the hardships she faced both emotionally and professionally she was able to make her way up to a stable job now as an IT Assistant at LaGuardia Community College and I was able to watch her as she did so, promotion after promotion. When she first started the job she is currently at, she was the only female in her office and despite the men not taking her seriously at first she proved them wrong time and time again with her awesome determination and problem solving skills. Even now she continues to work and now they also pay for her to go to school for her second masters in Digital Forensics and Cybersecurity. She has supported me my entire life and I aspire to be as successful as she's become all on her own. I love my mom for being so powerful and hope to make her proud in the future! I literally could not have asked for a better mom! Love you mom!
Monday, May 8, 2017
Facebook Engineers Gender Bias
https://www.theverge.com/2017/5/2/15517302/facebook-female-engineers-gender-bias-studies-report
Facebook is facing a gender bias scare after one of its former female engineer employees reported that less code by female engineers get passed in the peer review process that the Facebook company has set up. Scared about this being true Facebook attempted to find what the real problem was and what was reported back was that it was not gender but rather rank that got more code passed. this later caused some to theorize that maybe women weren't rising the ranks as engineers because of their gender or because women were falling behind as engineer or that women were just quitting before they could be promoted to a higher rank. This is upsetting seeing as I myself am a female engineer. A civil engineer that is, but an engineer nonetheless. I hope that i get lucky enough in my life not to have to deal with issues like this personally, but as a women in a field dominated by men such as engineering I am prepared to fight for my equality.
Harvard Business School Case Study: Gender Equity
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/08/education/harvard-case-study-gender-equity.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all&
In 2010 , Harvard Business School's first female president appointed a new dean. His goal: to tackle the issue of Gender inequality. Females in the school were struggling especially with participating in class which was a huge part of their grade. A factor that contributed to the gender inequality was the extreme economic gap in the school, the wealthy higher class was called Section X among the students. this contributed to the gender inequality because women were more prone to try to make their way into Section X by dating. Therefore causing women to put more attention into dating rather than their studies. I think that it was a good idea for the deans to put more attention into trying to fix their gender inequality problem but I think they did it in the wrong way. They involved themselves too much into the personal lives of students and then rather then fixing their inequality problem they fed it even more because the new rules they put in place were directed more for the benefit of women and it started to make the inequality negatively effect the men now.
In 2010 , Harvard Business School's first female president appointed a new dean. His goal: to tackle the issue of Gender inequality. Females in the school were struggling especially with participating in class which was a huge part of their grade. A factor that contributed to the gender inequality was the extreme economic gap in the school, the wealthy higher class was called Section X among the students. this contributed to the gender inequality because women were more prone to try to make their way into Section X by dating. Therefore causing women to put more attention into dating rather than their studies. I think that it was a good idea for the deans to put more attention into trying to fix their gender inequality problem but I think they did it in the wrong way. They involved themselves too much into the personal lives of students and then rather then fixing their inequality problem they fed it even more because the new rules they put in place were directed more for the benefit of women and it started to make the inequality negatively effect the men now.
What Real Heroes Will Most Likely Actually Look Like Under Their Costume
Know the Difference
Post pushed trauma
So.... while we were reading pushed in class I remembered how people reacted to so many things in the book. Some jumped, cringed, shrieked, chuckled, or looked disgusted. I also reacted sometimes as we discussed the book, but I felt I wasn't as affected by what was said in the book as everyone else. As if I was just a bit calmer about the event in the book than everyone else. Thought.
Then one day I get a phone call from my mom. We just start catching up, how's school, how's work, my friend did this, my coworker did that, I miss chocolate(my dog), Chocolate misses you too, and then she drops the bomb on me. "Michelle gave birth yesterday!" I was so excited and happy and I start talking about being excited to see the baby and see my cousin to congratulate her. and then my mom tells me that the day that she gave birth my uncle called her asking if Michelle should take the epidural and once she mentioned epidural, I panicked. I felt as though it was the day before and my cousin was giving birth during the phone call with my mom. I began to think about all the horrible things that we read hospitals and doctors do to speed up the birthing process. I began to regret not having thought of recommending the book to my cousin so that she could be informed that the doctors are going to indirectly pressure her into doing so many things just because it would benefit them and that way on the day that she gives birth she'd be able to recognize these moments and give birth the way she wants to. I was worried and reacting to the book all over again all at the same time while I was talking to my mom. But my mom told me that the advice that she gave her was that if she couldn't handle the pain to take the epidural which is completely valid I just hoped that they didn't give her Pitocin or anything else which might've caused her to ask for an epidural. Luckily the baby came out nice and healthy and my cousin gave birth with out the epidural and she was also doing well. But boy was I scared for a second there.
Then one day I get a phone call from my mom. We just start catching up, how's school, how's work, my friend did this, my coworker did that, I miss chocolate(my dog), Chocolate misses you too, and then she drops the bomb on me. "Michelle gave birth yesterday!" I was so excited and happy and I start talking about being excited to see the baby and see my cousin to congratulate her. and then my mom tells me that the day that she gave birth my uncle called her asking if Michelle should take the epidural and once she mentioned epidural, I panicked. I felt as though it was the day before and my cousin was giving birth during the phone call with my mom. I began to think about all the horrible things that we read hospitals and doctors do to speed up the birthing process. I began to regret not having thought of recommending the book to my cousin so that she could be informed that the doctors are going to indirectly pressure her into doing so many things just because it would benefit them and that way on the day that she gives birth she'd be able to recognize these moments and give birth the way she wants to. I was worried and reacting to the book all over again all at the same time while I was talking to my mom. But my mom told me that the advice that she gave her was that if she couldn't handle the pain to take the epidural which is completely valid I just hoped that they didn't give her Pitocin or anything else which might've caused her to ask for an epidural. Luckily the baby came out nice and healthy and my cousin gave birth with out the epidural and she was also doing well. But boy was I scared for a second there.
Don't Talk Crap About Her Vagina: Part II
Previously:
It was outrageous....
It was outrageous....
The moment I heard about the way a guy talked about my friend's Vagina I lost all respect for the guy.
A while back my friend made the decision to engage in sexual intercourse with this particular guy, a first timer. After a while they finally became a couple. I was but a side character but I knew he had dark humor and had a tendency of spouting offensive statements. I learned from one of his former roommates who was a witness to the offense about something completely unacceptable that the current boyfriend said. The boyfriend had a pile in the corner of his room in which he threw just about anything in. One day he walked in to his room, everyone that lived in the dorm was present, walks to pile, smells it and blurts out loud, "Ew! This pile smells almost as bad as (Current girlfriends name) Vagina!" and just walks away. When the boyfriend's former roommate told me this happened, my jaw dropped.
Part II:
Not only was the boyfriends actions despicable, but a reaction I witnessed after hearing the story had me baffled.
When my friends male best friend heard about this, his first reaction is not outrage from the boyfriend saying something that was clearly meant to be offensive toward her vagina, but rather he said, "I could see that, she's been around." and I was even more disgusted. OK, true, a women's vagina might begin to change smells the more she has sexual intercourse because of the change in PH levels down there, but I knew that what her best friend meant by that was that because she had had sex with so many people, he thought that that made her dirty. And not the sexy talk dirty, but dirty as in nasty and disgusting and he was obviously judging her about that. he said this thinking it was a given that that is what having so much sex means and he thinks about things in old fashion ways because of the way he was raised and because he was never really exposed much to feminist views. But for a women, having sex is just as natural as men having sex, and yet when men have sex, they are praised for it for the most part and women get the negative judgement. And just like men don't like being judged for having a lot of sex by being called "fuck boys" or anything similar, women don't like it either especially not from their best friend. Having a lot of sex is not a bad thing. Women have the same right for this desire as men do and it can only negatively effect them if people find out and begin to judge them or if the sex is not allowing them to progress in life. I ultimately explained myself to her best friend and he saw the error of his ways and hes a better person now because of it. But this is something that everyone should be informed about so many issues can be avoided if people knew about this.
Part II:
Not only was the boyfriends actions despicable, but a reaction I witnessed after hearing the story had me baffled.
When my friends male best friend heard about this, his first reaction is not outrage from the boyfriend saying something that was clearly meant to be offensive toward her vagina, but rather he said, "I could see that, she's been around." and I was even more disgusted. OK, true, a women's vagina might begin to change smells the more she has sexual intercourse because of the change in PH levels down there, but I knew that what her best friend meant by that was that because she had had sex with so many people, he thought that that made her dirty. And not the sexy talk dirty, but dirty as in nasty and disgusting and he was obviously judging her about that. he said this thinking it was a given that that is what having so much sex means and he thinks about things in old fashion ways because of the way he was raised and because he was never really exposed much to feminist views. But for a women, having sex is just as natural as men having sex, and yet when men have sex, they are praised for it for the most part and women get the negative judgement. And just like men don't like being judged for having a lot of sex by being called "fuck boys" or anything similar, women don't like it either especially not from their best friend. Having a lot of sex is not a bad thing. Women have the same right for this desire as men do and it can only negatively effect them if people find out and begin to judge them or if the sex is not allowing them to progress in life. I ultimately explained myself to her best friend and he saw the error of his ways and hes a better person now because of it. But this is something that everyone should be informed about so many issues can be avoided if people knew about this.
Don't Talk Crap About Her Vagina: Part I
It was outrageous....
The moment I heard about the way a guy talked about my friend's Vagina I lost all respect for the guy.
A while back my friend made the decision to engage in sexual intercourse with this particular guy, a first timer. As time passed they continued to be friends and got closer and closer as friends until they finally became a couple. I was but a side character in the entire matter, mostly only friends with the girl in the relationship and I had very few interactions with the boyfriend. But from the few interactions I had with him, he had dark humor and had a tendency of spouting offensive statements. But then I learned from one of his former roommates who was a witness to the offense about something completely unacceptable that happened sometime after their first time having sex and before their becoming a couple. The boyfriend is not such a sanitary guy, so at a certain point he had a pile in the corner of his room in which he threw just about anything in, from trash to clothes to random objects. What happened was that one day he walked in to his room, everyone that lived in the dorm was present, he walks to the pile, smells it and blurts out loud for his entire suite to hear (not in a joking manner), "Ew! This pile smells almost as bad as (Current girlfriends name) Vagina!" and just walks away. When the boyfriend's former roommate told me this happened, my jaw dropped. I was outraged by what my friend's boyfriend once said about her.
Even if they were not dating just yet, and he is naturally offensive its ridiculous that he even thought it was OK to say something like that about her vagina and especially in front of other people. That's her vagina, that is a natural part of her that she does not have to change unless she desires to, and vaginas are not meant to look or smell pretty or meant to change to be pretty just because of a man. Yes it is OK for people other than the owner of a vagina to talk about their vagina with the consent of the owner and it is OK for everyone to talk about vaginas in general, but it is only OK if the vagina is spoken about with maturity and respect. And another thing. This was his first time having sex, so this statement he blurted out to his roommates, who would most likely take this for granted as they have no other source, might not even of been true at all. This was the first time he took part in any form of sexual activity, so for all he could know, her vagina could smell like all other "normal" smelling vaginas. And even if her vagina smelled like the most disgusting thing in the world, he had no right to announce this to the rest of his roommates. Just like men don't like it when women talk crap about a man's penis, like its size, women don't like it when men talk crap about their vagina. Most women are already insecure about their body with clothes on, there shouldn't also be a reason for women to be insecure about a body part, which has more than just a sexual purpose for a women. For men it is only serves a sexual purpose for them, therefore if they're not educated about a women's body parts, not given consent to talk about it, or just not willing to be mature and respectful about it then they should not be talking about another women's vagina.
Even if they were not dating just yet, and he is naturally offensive its ridiculous that he even thought it was OK to say something like that about her vagina and especially in front of other people. That's her vagina, that is a natural part of her that she does not have to change unless she desires to, and vaginas are not meant to look or smell pretty or meant to change to be pretty just because of a man. Yes it is OK for people other than the owner of a vagina to talk about their vagina with the consent of the owner and it is OK for everyone to talk about vaginas in general, but it is only OK if the vagina is spoken about with maturity and respect. And another thing. This was his first time having sex, so this statement he blurted out to his roommates, who would most likely take this for granted as they have no other source, might not even of been true at all. This was the first time he took part in any form of sexual activity, so for all he could know, her vagina could smell like all other "normal" smelling vaginas. And even if her vagina smelled like the most disgusting thing in the world, he had no right to announce this to the rest of his roommates. Just like men don't like it when women talk crap about a man's penis, like its size, women don't like it when men talk crap about their vagina. Most women are already insecure about their body with clothes on, there shouldn't also be a reason for women to be insecure about a body part, which has more than just a sexual purpose for a women. For men it is only serves a sexual purpose for them, therefore if they're not educated about a women's body parts, not given consent to talk about it, or just not willing to be mature and respectful about it then they should not be talking about another women's vagina.
I Will Shave My Head In 3 Years
Dear Family and Friends,
In 3 years or less, depending on how fast my hair grows and how long I want it, I will shave my head. Do Not Panic. I am not doing this to rebel. My hair is not a symbol of femininity that I am loping off to signify that I have changed what gender I identify as or my sexual orientation. I am still me. Same old Chantal, except bald. I know that this might be even more difficult for my Hispanic family to understand. The last time I went to Ecuador, no matter how hard you look, its nearly impossible to find women with short hair. That was this past summer in 2016, and I had cut my hair so short that they had to shave the hairs on the back of my neck too, and when I came to Ecuador with hair at that length everyone was amazed. First of all, of the elders looked at me like I was crazy at first, but when I told them that i cut my hair in order to donate to cancer they lightened up because now they were assured that I didn't do this because I was coming out as gay. why would they think that? Because in many Hispanic households and other cultures as well long hair is meant to be for women and short hair for men, and if you switch the two its as if to others, the roles switch as well, even though its the same person. if i came out as gay, that would've been their worst nightmare seeing as they are all extremely religious traditional people. But even with explaining my reasons they still seemed hesitant about accepting my decision as they would say subtle discouragements like only old people cut there hair that short because its easier to maintain or stuff about missing my old long beautiful luscious hair. Second of all, all of my cousins thought I was the bravest person in the world for cutting all of it off. when i spoke to them about it they told me they would, never cut all their hair off like I did. My female cousins were a mix of middle schoolers, high schoolers, and college students, and yet I know that the reason that they could not imagine cutting off their hair is because they consider it as another way to represent their femininity and use it mainly to attract guys. They spend hours getting their hair ready along with their makeup and clothes, not to satisfy themselves, but rather to catch themselves a man. If their hair is gone how are they supposed to compete with other girls to impress guys. Another thing was that my male cousins thought that now that I had cut my hair I was "cool" or a "rebel" therefore they desired to interact with me more as if I was now "one of the guys", and don't get me wrong, its not like i don't like interacting with my male cousins, its just the fact that they treated me differently because apparently cutting my hair had created a whole knew me for them. Now imagine the situation when I go bald. Once again, this time around, I'm going to shave my head in order to donate hair to cancer. That is my reasoning, but why am I really writing this letter to you all. I love you all, but please, I'd like it if you could learn not to assume things based on my physical appearance, based on my hair, and based on gender stereotypes.
Love,
Same Old Chantal 💗
In 3 years or less, depending on how fast my hair grows and how long I want it, I will shave my head. Do Not Panic. I am not doing this to rebel. My hair is not a symbol of femininity that I am loping off to signify that I have changed what gender I identify as or my sexual orientation. I am still me. Same old Chantal, except bald. I know that this might be even more difficult for my Hispanic family to understand. The last time I went to Ecuador, no matter how hard you look, its nearly impossible to find women with short hair. That was this past summer in 2016, and I had cut my hair so short that they had to shave the hairs on the back of my neck too, and when I came to Ecuador with hair at that length everyone was amazed. First of all, of the elders looked at me like I was crazy at first, but when I told them that i cut my hair in order to donate to cancer they lightened up because now they were assured that I didn't do this because I was coming out as gay. why would they think that? Because in many Hispanic households and other cultures as well long hair is meant to be for women and short hair for men, and if you switch the two its as if to others, the roles switch as well, even though its the same person. if i came out as gay, that would've been their worst nightmare seeing as they are all extremely religious traditional people. But even with explaining my reasons they still seemed hesitant about accepting my decision as they would say subtle discouragements like only old people cut there hair that short because its easier to maintain or stuff about missing my old long beautiful luscious hair. Second of all, all of my cousins thought I was the bravest person in the world for cutting all of it off. when i spoke to them about it they told me they would, never cut all their hair off like I did. My female cousins were a mix of middle schoolers, high schoolers, and college students, and yet I know that the reason that they could not imagine cutting off their hair is because they consider it as another way to represent their femininity and use it mainly to attract guys. They spend hours getting their hair ready along with their makeup and clothes, not to satisfy themselves, but rather to catch themselves a man. If their hair is gone how are they supposed to compete with other girls to impress guys. Another thing was that my male cousins thought that now that I had cut my hair I was "cool" or a "rebel" therefore they desired to interact with me more as if I was now "one of the guys", and don't get me wrong, its not like i don't like interacting with my male cousins, its just the fact that they treated me differently because apparently cutting my hair had created a whole knew me for them. Now imagine the situation when I go bald. Once again, this time around, I'm going to shave my head in order to donate hair to cancer. That is my reasoning, but why am I really writing this letter to you all. I love you all, but please, I'd like it if you could learn not to assume things based on my physical appearance, based on my hair, and based on gender stereotypes.
Love,
Same Old Chantal 💗
Wednesday, May 3, 2017
Get with the Program Ross
Spoiler (if you are currently watching "Friends" or ever plan to see it or care): In season 3 episode 4 of "Friends", The one with the Metaphorical Tunnel, Ross has some issues with his son Ben Playing with a Barbie doll because, A, Barbie dolls are stereotypically meant to be for girls, and B, because Ben is being raised mainly by two Lesbian women, Ross is worried that Ben's having a Barbie might make Ben grow up to be gay as well. Not cool Ross, don't try to shove a G.I.Joe action figure at your son because "that's what boy's are supposed to play with." This episode of "Friends" luckily ridicules Ross for being against the toy his son picked out himself and at the end it was revealed that Ross himself used to, when he was a little boy, dress up as a girl, called himself Beau, Played with a tea set, and had a whole song to go with it too, and just because he did so didn't make him grow up to be gay or anything along those lines.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)