Don't Talk Crap About Her Vagina: Part II

Previously:
It was outrageous....

               The moment I heard about the way a guy talked about my friend's Vagina I lost all respect for the guy.

               A while  back my friend made the decision to engage in sexual intercourse with this particular guy, a first timer. After a while they finally became a couple. I was but a side character but I knew he had dark humor and had a tendency of spouting offensive statements. I learned from one of his former roommates who was a witness to the offense about something completely unacceptable that the current boyfriend said. The boyfriend had a pile in the corner of his room in which he threw just about anything in. One day he walked in to his room, everyone that lived in the dorm was present, walks to pile, smells it and blurts out loud, "Ew! This pile smells almost as bad as (Current girlfriends name) Vagina!" and just walks away. When the boyfriend's former roommate told me this happened, my jaw dropped.

Part II:
Not only was the boyfriends actions despicable, but a reaction I witnessed after hearing the story had me baffled.
               When my friends male best friend heard about this, his first reaction is not outrage from the boyfriend saying something that was clearly meant to be offensive toward her vagina, but rather he said, "I could see that, she's been around." and I was even more disgusted. OK, true, a women's vagina might begin to change smells the more she has sexual intercourse because of the change in PH levels down there, but I knew that what her best friend meant by that was that because she had had sex with so many people, he thought that that made her dirty. And not the sexy talk dirty, but dirty as in nasty and disgusting and he was obviously judging her about that. he said this thinking it was a given that that is what having so much sex means and he thinks about things in old fashion ways because of the way he was raised and because he was never really exposed much to feminist views. But for a women, having sex is just as natural as men having sex, and yet when men have sex, they are praised for it for the most part and women get the negative judgement. And just like men don't like being judged for having a lot of sex by being called "fuck boys" or anything similar, women don't like it either especially not from their best friend. Having a lot of sex is not a bad thing. Women have the same right for this desire as men do and it can only negatively effect them if people find out and begin to judge them or if the sex is not allowing them to progress in life. I ultimately explained myself to her best friend and he saw the error of his ways and hes a better person now because of it. But this is something that everyone should be informed about so many issues can be avoided if people knew about this.

Don't Talk Crap About Her Vagina: Part I

It was outrageous....

               The moment I heard about the way a guy talked about my friend's Vagina I lost all respect for the guy.

               A while  back my friend made the decision to engage in sexual intercourse with this particular guy, a first timer. As time passed they continued to be friends and got closer and closer as friends until they finally became a couple. I was but a side character in the entire matter, mostly only friends with the girl in the relationship and I had very few interactions with the boyfriend. But from the few interactions I had with him, he had dark humor and had a tendency of spouting offensive statements. But then I learned from one of his former roommates who was a witness to the offense about something completely unacceptable that happened sometime after their first time having sex and before their becoming a couple. The boyfriend is not such a sanitary guy, so at a certain point he had a pile in the corner of his room in which he threw just about anything in, from trash to clothes to random objects. What happened was that one day he walked in to his room, everyone that lived in the dorm was present, he walks to the pile, smells it and blurts out loud for his entire suite to hear (not in a joking manner), "Ew! This pile smells almost as bad as (Current girlfriends name) Vagina!" and just walks away. When the boyfriend's former roommate told me this happened, my jaw dropped. I was outraged by what my friend's boyfriend once said about her.
               Even if they were not dating just yet, and he is naturally offensive its ridiculous that he even thought it was OK to say something like that about her vagina and especially in front of other people. That's her vagina, that is a natural part of her that she does not have to change unless she desires to, and vaginas are not meant to look or smell pretty or meant to change to be pretty just because of a man. Yes it is OK for people other than the owner of a vagina to talk about their vagina with the consent of the owner and it is OK for everyone to talk about vaginas in general, but it is only OK if the vagina is spoken about with maturity and respect. And another thing. This was his first time having sex, so this statement he blurted out to his roommates, who would most likely take this for granted as they have no other source, might not even of been true at all. This was the first time he took part in any form of sexual activity, so for all he could know, her vagina could smell like all other "normal" smelling vaginas. And even if her vagina smelled like the most disgusting thing in the world, he had no right to announce this to the rest of his roommates. Just like men don't like it when women talk crap about a man's penis, like its size, women don't like it when men talk crap about their vagina. Most women are already insecure about their body with clothes on, there shouldn't also be a reason for women to be insecure about a body part, which has more than just a sexual purpose for a women. For men it is only serves a sexual purpose for them, therefore if they're not educated about a women's body parts, not given consent to talk about it, or just not willing to be mature and respectful about it then they should not be talking about another women's vagina.

I Will Shave My Head In 3 Years

Dear Family and Friends,
In 3 years or less, depending on how fast my hair grows and how long I want it, I will shave my head. Do Not Panic. I am not doing this to rebel. My hair is not a symbol of femininity that I am loping off to signify that I have changed what gender I identify as or my sexual orientation. I am still me. Same old Chantal, except bald. I know that this might be even more difficult for my Hispanic family to understand. The last time I went to Ecuador, no matter how hard you look, its nearly impossible to find women with short hair. That was this past summer in 2016, and I had cut my hair so short that they had to shave the hairs on the back of my neck too, and when I came to Ecuador with hair at that length everyone was amazed. First of all, of the elders looked at me like I was crazy at first, but when I told them that i cut my hair in order to donate to cancer they lightened up because now they were  assured that I didn't do this because I was coming out as gay. why would they think that? Because in many Hispanic households and other cultures as well long hair is meant to be for women and short hair for men, and if you switch the two its as if to others, the roles switch as well, even though its the same person. if i came out as gay, that would've been their worst nightmare seeing as they are all extremely religious traditional people. But even with explaining my reasons they still seemed hesitant about accepting my decision as they would say subtle discouragements like only old people cut there hair that short because its easier to maintain or stuff about missing my old long beautiful luscious hair. Second of all, all of my cousins thought I was the bravest person in the world for cutting all of it off. when i spoke to them about it they told me they would, never cut all their hair off like I did. My female cousins were a mix of middle schoolers, high schoolers, and college students, and yet I know that the reason that they could not imagine cutting off their hair is because they consider it as another way to represent their femininity and use it mainly to attract guys. They spend hours getting their hair ready along with their makeup and clothes, not to satisfy themselves, but rather to catch themselves a man. If their hair is gone how are they supposed to compete with other girls to impress guys. Another thing was that my male cousins thought that now that I had cut my hair I was "cool" or a "rebel" therefore they desired to interact with me more as if I was now "one of the guys", and don't get me wrong, its not like i don't like interacting with my male cousins, its just the fact that they treated me differently because apparently cutting my hair had created a whole knew me for them. Now imagine the situation when I go bald. Once again, this time around, I'm going to shave my head in order to donate hair to cancer. That is my reasoning, but why am I really writing this letter to you all. I love you all, but please, I'd like it if you could learn not to assume things based on my physical appearance, based on my hair, and based on gender stereotypes.
Love,
Same Old Chantal 💗

Get with the Program Ross

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWEy50AdmqU

Spoiler (if you are currently watching "Friends" or ever plan to see it or care): In season 3 episode 4 of "Friends", The one with the Metaphorical Tunnel, Ross has some issues with his son Ben Playing with a Barbie doll because, A, Barbie dolls are stereotypically meant to be for girls, and B, because Ben is being raised mainly by two Lesbian women, Ross is worried that Ben's having a Barbie might make Ben grow up to be gay as well. Not cool Ross, don't try to shove a G.I.Joe action figure at your son because "that's what boy's are supposed to play with." This episode of "Friends" luckily ridicules Ross for being against the toy his son picked out himself and at the end it was revealed that Ross himself used to, when he was a little boy, dress up as a girl, called himself Beau, Played with a tea set, and had a whole song to go with it too, and just because he did so didn't make him grow up to be gay or anything along those lines. 

Get a Job Cinderella

That is, if you subtract the fact that Cinderella took place in 17th Century France, in which the only way a women could hope to possibly move up in life was to marry into a higher class family or relying on the husband to move them a bit higher in social class, and even then high class women were expected to organize and supervise servants and were mostly educated in music and embroidery. What time it was to be a women... Sadly, some men and women still hold these expectations for women.

How much further are we expected to go!

Thought this was hilarious. Although expectations for the bodies of Women is a serious matter. This really makes you understand how ridiculous and unrealistic many of those expectations are and pokes fun at the idea of even having body expectations. And it's even more perfect because Mannequins are designed to look like the ideal body for a male or female, so the caption and picture work so well with each other. I cracked up so hard.😆

2 Dope Queens

Bonus Episode! Boo-boo Ass Milk
In this Episode of 2 Dope Queens, they talk a special guest,  Nicole Byer from the MTV show Loosely Exactly Nicole. Nicole is a happily not married woman living in LA, and Pheobe and Jessica were making small talk with Nicole about how her life is going in LA. And then they ask her how she likes the men in LA, and she says, "LA dudes suck!"something that caught me by surprise. I'd never heard someone have such hatred for men of a specific state or city. But, her reasoning made so much sense. At first when I heard her say that LA dudes suck, I thought she meant she thought they were all unattractive, which was hard to imagine for me because I find almost everyone attractive. But her reasoning was because the Men in LA only ever go for what they know there is an abundance of in LA, Perfect blondes. With, the incentive that most women in LA have to look like the same perfect surfer chick that California is known for because of movies, TV shows, commercials, magazines, etc, Most women end up doing what ever they can to become that. And its not hard to accomplish in LA, what with plastic surgeries, tanning salons, and so on. Because this type of woman is what is expected from women in LA, the men only go for these types of women. The go on and compare the Women in LA to the women you would find that'd be on the bachelor or the bachelorette. Basically, the same normal white women with generic jobs and if there is ever an ethnic woman who may be the most interesting character there, there are seen as too wild or crazy and aren't given any of the bachelors attention. And then they compare the LA men to the men in NY, in which the men in New York are ready these type of ethnic women. And this is mostly because of all the ethnic diversity their is in New York and this diversity is celebrated often, despite there still not being enough representation of different races and body sizes in models on posters and magazines, there is no arguing that compared to LA the spectrum of dateable women in NY is much wider than that of of those in LA. Another topic they talked about was Nicole Byer being her own boss for her show. She confessed that she realized that she really isn't her own boss because MTV has control over the show, but some advice that she gave was to never back down. If she wanted something she was going to make it known that that is what she wanted, and she pointed out that men don't listen. And she said that if they don't you have to be more assertive, and if your boss tells you that you came off as a bitch, then you go ahead and tell them that in no way is that considered being a bitch, that is called being a woman who knows what she wants. She goes on saying that, its unfair that male comedians get to say and do what they want yet woman have to hold back, and that it shouldn't be that way. Of course all of this was said in a much sassier way but none the less, it was empowering advice.